One Toke Over the Line? 37 Signs You’re Probably Too High

**Is there really such a thing as being too high?**

It depends on whom you ask – what some would consider to be ludicrous levels of inebriation others call an everyday indulgence.

Tolerance levels differ and we all get something slightly different out of the experience, but there are still certain universal signs that you might have gone at least a little bit over the edge. Of course, realising you’re too high doesn’t have to be a bad thing – you can actually enjoy it once you accept it and start working to manage it. But in terms of where to draw the line…well, it’s up to you and you alone to make the distinction.

So while some of these will probably apply to your own case more than others, here’s a quick rundown of 37 sure-fire warning signs that you’re or at least bordering on the brink of burnout:

You realise that for at least the fourth or fifth time within the hour, you’ve tried to light a cigarette the wrong way around.
You haven’t successfully completed a sentence in your last half-dozen attempts, having completely forgotten what the point was before getting halfway through.
You haven’t successfully completed a sentence in a while because you simply got bored of talking before finishing.
You thought your buddy was in the bathroom taking a leak but in reality they actually left two or three hours ago.
You tell one of your friends a story or a joke, without realising that approximately 5 minutes earlier, it was them who told the story or joke to you.
You decide that six kilometres really isn’t far to walk, if it means there’s a Big Mac on the other side of it.
You set off on your six-kilometre walk only to realise that it is broad daylight, people are going about their business and you’ve actually been smoking away in a dark room for about 5 hours more than you expected.
You arrive after your six-kilometre walk only to realise you didn’t bring your wallet and don’t have a penny of cash on your person.
You genuinely believe that your cat or dog was talking to you earlier, but have absolutely no recollection of the wisdom they shared.
You haven’t taken a hit for a while and yet every drop of saliva in your mouth still tastes like week-old bong water.
You’re more than happy to stare at a blank screen in silence for at least one more hour, given the fact that actually getting up to turn it on is way too much effort.
The sentences you start coming out with sound a little bit like George W. Bush on heavy sedatives.
You phone to order a pizza, only to completely forget who it is you called or what you wanted by the time the guy on the other end answers.
Your pizza finally arrives at your door and you have absolutely no recollection of ordering it, but frankly don’t give a damn as you’d eat anything right now.
You forgot your pizza was on its way and so ploughed your way through everything edible you could find in your own fridge.
You start getting pissed about the fact that nobody’s smoking, only to have to be told for the fifth time it’s supposed to be YOU that’s rolling the joint.
You suddenly think it’s a good idea to invite someone you’re not exactly close to around to your place to make amends over a joint or two.
You almost immediately forget which nemesis you were thinking of and so don’t bother going through with it anyway.
You’re experiencing the most crippling pains imaginable in your bladder, but for what it’s worth the bathroom might as well be on top of Mount Everest.
You finally find the energy to put on the movie you’ve been intending to for several hours, only to fall asleep before the opening credits are even halfway through.
You start doing one thing, get distracted by another and summarily can’t remember what either of the activities were supposed to be for.
You wake up unbelievably high panicking about going to work, failing to realise you’ve only been asleep for 10 minutes. And it’s Saturday night.
You spend at least 45 minutes trying to script a basic reply to a text message from your other half or family member, scrutinising it to the point where you eventually give up and turn your phone off.
You wonder why the pizza you ordered 2 hours ago still hasn’t arrived, having completely forgotten that you never bothered to order it in the first place.
You try to leave the house to go somewhere and end up returning back at least five times to pick up things like your keys, wallet, phone, vape pen etc.
You give up having totally forgotten where it was you intended to go or why you intended to go there, given how nice and safe it is indoors.
You own the biggest bong in the world and yet cannot find the damn thing even 10 seconds after your last hit.
You can’t bear the thought of quitting even though you’re completely out of weed, so you start grinding up and smoking the seeds and sticks.
You actually find smoking ground seeds and sticks quite enjoyable.
You’ve been completely overwhelmed by couch-lock for so long that you actually start to wonder whether you might in fact be paralysed for life.
You’re on your 11^th lighter of the night, even though you’re smoking alone and sitting in the same chair where there’s absolutely no plausible possibility of losing even one.
You then lose your 11^th and final lighter.
You finally accept the fact that you’re paralysed for life and begin enjoying it.
You start wishing that paranoia would set in, just as a temporary form of entertainment.
You get halfway to bed and forget where you are going and why, so instead head back downstairs for a little more.
You switch channels at every commercial break because by the time the second advert comes on, you forgot you were watching something and actually quite enjoying it.
You think you’ve hit the jackpot by finding a massive blunt, having forgotten that it was actually you who rolled it about 20 minutes ago.